dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize