his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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