i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
