Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
