when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
