1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
