You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
