STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
