Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
