Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
