Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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