And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
