"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
