So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
