lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
