i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
