she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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