how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
