You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Need sex. Gaining weight.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
