wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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