Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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