He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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