One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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