dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
