How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
