As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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