I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
