Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
