ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
