Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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