What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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