Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
