didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
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Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
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If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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