This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My cat gives me a boner
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
