Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
