Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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