i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
