Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
