so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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