cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
