so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
