we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
