I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
