Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
