Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
