we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
