Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
