Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
