I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
