hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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