Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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