sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
