I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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