Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize