I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
