So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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