You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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