If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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