It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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